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My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods.
Included with your cruise fare:
There's also the cruise ship's beach-themed carousel, which doubles as a great photo opp. Both attractions are included in your cruise fare. Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do.
The largest waterpark at sea
In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends.
Perfect day the western way
This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed.
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STAND OUT NIGHTLIFE
The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock. There’s no shortage of ways to score unbelievable ocean views from your room. With spacious balconies, extended ocean side escapes, and floor-to-ceiling panoramic windows, there’s so much to see at sea.
To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused.
Specialty dining is also a highlight – our tip here is to buy a dining package so you can sample a few for-fee restaurants in addition to the included options. Where it succeeds is with its clever approach to its eight neighborhoods, each distinct in its offerings but seamlessly transitioning to the next. Wows abound, from the spectacular six-slide waterpark to the gravity-defying AquaTheater and fun, kid-friendly touches (like a full-time resident golden retriever and slides that move you from one deck to the next). Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.
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Next-level views are never far away, with an array of infinity edges to keep you connected to the ocean. There's a reason Royal Caribbean's new mega-cruise ship is only operating seven-night sailings. Take your best-ever holiday and crank it up – right to the top. This is a whole new kind of adventure with new thrills that change the way you play for good. Like six record-breaking waterslides and an all-out test of courage dangling high above the ocean. Unlock the shores of the Eastern Caribbean and max out memories like never before on 7-night getaways.
Icon of the Seas Rooms Have Categories for All Family Sizes
Max out memories like never before on 7-night adventures to the Eastern Caribbean onboard Icon of the Seas℠. Every sailing on our newest, thrill-packed ship stops at our private destination, Perfect Day at CocoCay in The Bahamas. Voted Best Private Island by Travel Weekly readers, it’s a place unlike any other where you can turn up the thrills or unplug and chill. But of all the activities the new world's largest cruise ship has to offer, my eight favorites are, for the most part, ones I've yet to see on another vessel. Aptly named, Icon of the Seas has some iconic offerings onboard.
Be sure to check out Swim & Tonic, the largest swim-up bar at sea. Admission is free if you want to hang out and wade in the water, though alcoholic beverages will cost you extra unless you purchase a Specialty Beverage Package. The package is a great deal, and it includes beers, wines, and other vacation libations at bars such as the Lemon Post. The Surfside and Thrill Island neighborhoods are home to some incredible specialty restaurants.
Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace, who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am.
It's designed exclusively with tots to tweens in mind and offers plenty of cool interactive water features and mini waterslides just for little ones. Think water cannons, fountains, splash pools and more. There's also Baby Bay for your littlest adventure seekers. And of course, admission is included in your cruise fare. A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further.
If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity. If you're cruising with your children, there's no shortage of activities and attractions to excite little ones onboard Icon of the Seas℠. Like Playscape, a place for kids to slide, climb and play.
” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy. The mega-ship's food hall wasn't nearly as diverse or exciting as the one on Norwegian Prima. I spent my time there perched at one of its in-water loungers, contently splashing my legs around the water, wondering if I actually hated cruises. If you're a frequent cruiser — especially with Royal Caribbean — amenities like the mini-golf course and water playground may not seem exciting. Make the most of every minute in the ultimate week-long family getaway to the eastern and western Caribbean.
I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”). This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language.
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